By Lidia Byhower

I just read a very interesting article on nymag.com.  The article talks about married & dating couples that are in nonexclusive relationships.  I was surprised to learn just how many couples have this type of relationship.  Many people wonder- is monogamy our natural state? Well, 90% of birds, 7% of animals, a few insects, and 1 type of worm are monogamous, but surprisingly, our most similar kin (primates) are not!

So what makes us so different from many of our fellow animals?  Why are 93% of animals hitting up random booty calls while we are sticking to one lifelong partner?  Do we feel jealousy and possessiveness far more than they do?

Cheating is viewed so negatively in today’s society.  Tiger Woods & Jesse James are some recent examples of how strongly people feel about monogamy.  Ironically, the word game is in monogamy.  And you know what they say- don’t hate the player, hate the game.  So you have to wonder, would everything have been just fine & dandy if Elin & Sandra had agreed to make their relationships nonexclusive?

Interestingly, these nonexclusive couples are all around us.  Many of them are happily married, have kids, attend church, are soccer-moms, & work in corporate America- yet most of us do not know about their secret love life.  So this leads me to even more questions.  How do nonexclusive people find fellow nonexclusive couples to swap with?  Craigslist?  How does this type of relationship come up?  Is it usually the woman’s idea or the man’s idea?

So now I leave this topic up to you- how do you feel about nonexclusive relationships? Does this mean the people are not truly in love?  Is this a healthy environment to raise children in?  Could it ever become more mainstream & acceptable?